I Desire: An Introduction

Photo by Alexis Fauvet on Unsplash

It’s never been easy to say what I want.

As a child, I was taught to put others’ needs first. And as a girl, I was taught to alternately defend against and accommodate boy’s desires, not my own.

So I’m using this space to throw myself against those expectations. I am saying: I desire.

This is not only an act of reclamation, but also of questioning:

· What do I desire?

· Why do I desire it?

· What has society taught me about this desire?

· How has that impacted my desire?

Beginning June 2019, I will be using this space to start a new series investigating these questions. The topics will be as diverse as desire itself. This will not be a series wholly on sex. Though sex is perhaps where we see desire most made manifest, it is far from the only thing we wish for. Topics will range from faith to vegetarianism, from polyamory to a PhD.

This is not to say that sexuality will not play a role in these essays. My queer identity has often taught me to question the assumption that society makes about desire, to actively confront expectations of a boyfriend, marriage, children, a house in the suburbs. Being queer taught me to live with anticipation instead of expectation. It allowed me to embrace a desire for…